Colleen's Chronicle of Her First Visit with Jose Carlos, from Guatemala. Some families decide to travel early (before their adoption is final in Guatemala) so that they can get acquainted with their child before coming to obtain the Immigrant Visa to bring them home. In this case, Colleen went to Guatemala to meet her son, Jose Carlos, at his current home in Antigua. Knowing she would wait for another few months before his adoption was final, she nevertheless traveled to see him, wanting to get to know as much as she could about him and about how to make him comfortable with the transition from the baby home to his future home in California. This is her story about that first visit:

FIRST MEETING AT THE BABY HOME: Colleen's initial meeting with her new son, Jose Carlos, a toddler

The first day, they showed me around the place and then, like a trick, they took me into his classroom & sprung us on each other! JC was sitting in a row with about 10 other kids his age. They announced that I was the "mama de Jose Carlos". He came running out to greet me, which means a kiss & hug. Either that is what they told him to do or that is what he saw other kids do. Then he said "holy crap, I don't need a large white mother!!" And he started to cry. I asked him if he wanted to go sit back down with his friends & he said something like "heck yes!!".

So then the other little kids came running out to greet me. And THEY loved me. All hugs & kisses. JC watched for a while. Then he made one more attempt. Came over and held my hand. Started crying again & ran back to safety. The others still loved me. And I started wanting THEM instead of him...(that would be the 2nd time I temporarily didn't want this kid - the 1st time was when he turned out to be a boy instead of a girl). His third attempt at contact was a charm and we started to HANG OUT. Next thing I know he was telling every one around us that "she is my mama". A new nanny walks in, and he screams at her that "she is my mama!". That was a little flippin weird. But I got used to it by the 355th person he told. He is a little possessive - doesn't really like other people giving me hugs. But that is all that the kids want to do. They are really well treated in the Home. But there are 70 kids & 50 nannies that work on shifts. Probably 1 nanny for each 10 kids at any given time. So they just don't get the individual attention and physical affection that they are starved for. Yes, there are about 7 others that I am dying to take with me too...

Later they told me that the kids are usually more friendly with other people's parents than they are with their own at the beginning. THAT would have been nice to know before I went into that room! The next day they told me that they were pretty sure he had some BAD experiences with his Guatemalan mama, and that he probably thought he had to go back to her. That could be why he freaked out with me. Must have been pretty bad for him. His teeth have a lot of black spots on them. At the Home they have a teeth-brushing ceremony every night. So that stuff had to have come from before. Life at the Home is probably the best he has ever had it.

JC is a cry baby. Always attached to 3 specific toys. And the other kids totally pander to him. They really take care of him. He is more into his 3 toys than he is into playing with the other kids. But they seem to love him anyway. Most kids are 7 years old or below. There are 2 older ones, brothers that are 11 & 13 years old. They really break my heart. They are taking care of all the little kids, and they especially look after JC. It's not a rule or anything, but their role just seems to work that way. And they ask me questions that are a LOT harder to answer than the 5 yr olds... you know what I mean???

There was one little kid who kept following us around. He never said a word the whole 1st day. but stuck to me like glue. Didn't smile, but never took his eyes off me. I asked about him. They said he had just arrived, and that he didn't even speak Spanish. He speaks some indigenous indian language. So he was just scared s…tless & couldn't even tell anyone. The 2nd day he started smiling a little bit more and I taught him a few words in Spanish (like shoe, button and tummy). He would jabber back to me in his language that I couldn't understand. By the way his teeth were white, and he wasn't a cry baby (shared all the toys). So for the 3rd time, I didn't want JC. I wanted this kid instead..

I didn't get emotional or anything until the end of the 2nd day when I was just wandering through the park by myself. I had talked with the director of the home and she was telling me how pessimistic she was about the future of Guatemala and all the violence here. She told me about JC's mom and the bad experiences she thought he had with her. About how most of the moms that are still alive are prostitutes... So, as I was wandering thru the park, I realized that JC was the perfect kid for me. I didn't want some well behaved, white-teethed kid with a pedigree. I wanted a kid who's teeth I can actually SAVE and who's difficult past I can help him overcome. So I started whimpering as I walked along. Don't get me wrong... I want the other kids TOOO. But JC is the right kid for me. After all he's been through, he is not even aggressive. He is very loving. He stepped on my hand and then tried to undo it with a little song about how the little frogs tail will cure all boo-boos. AND he can learn how to share his toys in a couple years when he is no longer an only child :)

Note: Colleen is currently waiting for her trip to Guatemala to go pick up her wonderful son, Jose Carlos.